Spring is either here.... OR just pretending to be

 Hello Bee Hive family!

It's been a little crazy over here at the Bee Hive! So many things have been happening and going through some tough stuff, but also some exciting news as well!

First, the EXCITING news! Even though I have been living in KY for 2 1/2 years, and really loving the area, I'm moving my little pea pod family (my 14 yr old son and I) back to WI to help my Mama with my Daddy. He has Alzheimer's and is fading more and more and she needs help. That's not the exciting part. The exciting part of that is that we will be reunited with family. My younger brother lives across the driveway, but Mama needs more help.

I will be putting my house on the market beginning of April and PRAYING that we can get top dollar for it as we make the move back up north. We hope to be back up there 1st of June. So, we've been busy packing boxes, sorting, selling, de-cluttering things to be able to present our best for the buyers. It's stressful being a single Mama, working FT, and different appointments, son's girlfriend's volleyball games he NEEEEEDS to attend (LOL), all the while keeping the house going. WHEW!

Now for the tough stuff.  For the past week or so, I've been feeling very depressed, sad, and unmotivated to do ANYTHING! I think that's why I haven't gotten as far along in my packing as I've wanted to be by this time. Feelings of: "If I weren't so fat, I would have a man", "I can never lose this weight and by happy", "Why can't I be consistent with my journey?", "Why am I not finding any joy in anything?" all come into play. The loneliness that I feel is very real and strong, as an almost 54 year old woman who has never been married may be feeling. Yes, I have my son, but I really only have him 4 more years before he goes off and lives his life to the fullest. Then what? I don't want to be 60 and still in this same state that I'm in. 

I had an encounter with God today. The stress of the move, getting a place to live up in WI, to a job that I can transfer with, financially making it til I sell the house, guiding my son still, worried about Mama/Daddy, all the things... He says, "Be still. I have you. Just RELAX and TRUST ME. Your plans and what you think is best for you in your situation, may not be My plans for you. YOU are NOT in control and you need to give up that control to Me". Now, it's just taking one day at a time. One meal at a time. Getting up to workout/stretch/get movement in. Drinking my water. GETTING SLEEP! Setting new routines and being consistent with them. Get my fire 🔥🔥🔥 back for working out and feeling good. I fight depression a lot, and. yes, I'm on medicine - just seems like there is always a lot on my plate at one time. But... GOD HAS IT. I TRUST IN HIM. HE WILL GUIDE ME.

I'm learning to love the body that I'm currently in as God and I change it daily and enjoying the process.

Keep going Bee Hive... Keep going.

FEBRUARY 2024

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 

Yes, it is February - but I see that I haven't posted in a few months! It has been crazy! That's still no excuse, but life happens, right?

Well, let me catch you up on my health journey and what has been happening with me.

December: I went home to the parents for Christmas. My Dad has 3rd stage Alzheimer's - which is pretty much closer to the end of what we know of Dad. Mama was in the hospital for 11 days (before I got there) with a blood infection. She was home and facing physical challenges while trying to care for Dad. As I was there for 11 days, I saw my parents in a new light. They were now needing my assistance more than ever. Mama still can get around, drive, and mentally "with it", but just physically wearing down. So, in order to "cope" with all of this, I was EMOTIONALLY EATING AT IT'S FINEST! 

I came back and was getting ready for New Year's, going back to work, all the things that people do after the holidays. 

January: So, when Jan. came around, I didn't do my typical resolutions of I'm gonna lose weight, get healthy, workout every day, etc. etc.  I actually just wrote down goals I wanted to accomplish this year - not just physical health wise. Sure, to lose weight, but there was NO TIMEFRAME of how much I was gonna lose this year. There was working on my relationship with God, my son, and myself. To work on the physical aspect of it, I was asked to join a challenge with BUILT DIFFERENT and they are an amazing group of ladies that help with not only the regular challenge stuff, but the mental and creating life changing habits. The mental part of things: creating habits over time and then it will be sustainable. I LOVE their energy. Another great coach is: KRAY FITNESS (www.krayfitness101.com). If you decide to go with KRAY (Kaitlyn Raymond), tell her Traycee Bee sent ya! :D

So, January 1, I weighed and measured myself. WOWZERS!!! I gained A LOT of weight back that I had lost. I knew I had, just by the tightness in my skin, fullness in my face, more tired, joints and back hurting more. So, here is the numbers:

Starting weight (1/1/2024): 280.6.   Body Fat (BF) %: 42.1.  Body Mass Index (BMI): 40.2

Jan. 29, 2024:  Weight: 270.6.  BF%: 41.2.  BMI: 38.8

And this is all in just ONE MONTH! I know that I'm going to KILL IT in February, as I'm stepping up my workout and nutrition plans. I can't wait to see what I do in FEB!!!

Blue bra: 1/1/24

White bra: 1/29/24

November 1, 2023

 As it's the first day of the month, so many people, including myself, always state, "NEW MONTH. NEW MINDSET. NEW PLAN" or something to that affect. I'm guilty of it myself - MANY MANY TIMES.

But I'm seeing for myself, that it doesn't matter what day of the week or month you are at, pick THAT day and just do it! It's all in the mindset! I've noticed that most of my posts here lately have been dealing with mindset. So apparently, I've been dealing with this topic for quite some time! I know that it will finally "click" with me - but it all starts in just setting my mind to workout that day. Or eating "on plan" or just eating clean. One day at a time. One meal at a time. One workout at a time. 

I've been reading a book by Gary Foster, PhD titled "The Shift" and it deals with 7 shifts in our mind to be able to conquer the negativity in our mental vocabulary. I'm writing them down and putting them on my bathroom mirror to remind myself daily of these positive changes to my internal dialogue. The next book I'm reading is by David Goggins, "Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds". THAT one is going to be a powerful one and looking forward to diving in!

We all know that this journey is NOT an easy one. You know the line:  If it was easy.... EVERYONE WOULD BE DOING IT - Right?!  But each of us has our own path, pace, and changes to go through in order to be healthy: mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It takes time. I have to keep reminding myself this and allowing to show myself grace when I fall is HUGE for me. I'm an all or nothing mindset kinda girl and I'm slowly changing that to doing the best I can for that day. Not to focus on the HUGE goal set before me, but just the small ones for that week or even day. I would also suggest getting Julia Rene's journal book called, "Know Your Power" (you can get it on Amazon and it's AMAZING and so helpful with this)!

So let's make this day, week, and month be the best that we can make it to be on our journey! Let me know and comment how you are doing - how I can encourage you - what you want to see more of on this blog - let me know you were here! :)