WOW!!! It has been several months since I last wrote about my journey here! I'm so sorry for not keeping everyone updated!
As you know from previous posts, I've REALLY struggled with this weight loss journey. I don't really know what it is, but it is SO DIFFICULT for me to be consistent with my workouts and even meal prepping. I KNOW what I need to do and the desire is there, but there is SOMETHING that is keeping me from executing what I know I need to do.... and that's me, myself, and I. I stand in my own way. I'm not sure as to why I do this, but I do recognize this.
My desire is to compete in Bikini/Wellness division in NPC/IFBB, but I seem to have the negative self-talk and excuses down to a "T". I think it's combo of not believing in myself, afraid of what life will look like in a healthier body, how people will treat me/attention that is bound to happen, depressed or tired of how I look/feel in my skin, hate how I feel in my own body! One would think that these things would be motivating factors to get healthy and get this weight off, but for some reason it's not. That part I'm still trying to figure out.
There are days where I DO believe in myself and I KNOW that I can do this, but for some reason I self-sabotage and I talk myself out of working out or back to meal prepping on a consistent basis. I do NOT know why I do this to myself or what I gain from it - other than. more pounds!
Suggestions on how to break through this type of self-sabotage? How to change that line of thinking - besides the typical answer of "Just set your mind to do it" or "Just show up for yourself and KNOW that it will become a habit", etc.
All I know is - at this rate - I'll never get on stage and achieve that goal or dream of mine. I'm 54 years old and I don't want to regret NOT doing it or wishing I had stuck to it to do it.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
(The picture of me was taken at my last check-ins Nov. 18, 2024)
