Ms. Blueyes' Life

 I sit here going through in my mind, the mental struggle this journey has been. I look back at what mental state that I was in to where I am now. I started this weight loss journey on a serious effort May 2019 at the weight of 349 lbs. I then hired my Coach - Melanie Martin IFBB Pro - to take it to the next level in May 2020. I started with her at 289 lbs. I have then gotten down to 262 (currently at 264) and have lost 20 inches!!!!  I have had a hard time mentally being strong to push through since July 2020, but still trying. In the past I would have just given up and said, heck with it all. But then I caught the bug of body building and wanting to compete. I hated runnin (which was what I was doing for exercise  - loved the community - hated the running aspect of it). Here, I feel powerful, strong, confident (in most areas). Where I am lacking is the mental game that this sport is - which to be honest, is the most important one of them all. I have to conquer my fears ...

 How is it December already and I have noticed that I did not post at all in the month of NOV!!! WHAT??? Was I THAT busy or consumed by life to not post? Itt was a crazy month and emotions were and are all over the map it seems. I'm learning how to handle the emotional side of eating and being healthy. To change one's behaviors from a negative to a positive is taking more time than I liked. It is a continuing process of changing life long habits.  I will try to do better in posting - it has been an emotional month of Nov, but still need to document my journey of being morbidly obese to competition stage...