Can it be half way through August already????

 TIME IS FLYING BY!!!

I've been very discombobulated this month and with this move from KY to WI and into my own apartment again. I REALLY need to get into a routine and groove of meal prepping and getting my workouts in on the daily basis. THIS is the BIGGEST challenge for me here lately. There are days where I'm so tired and have NO ENERGY to do the workouts and meal prep on the regular. I need to plan and just DO IT - be a NIKE and JUST DO IT!!!

My mind has been all over the place and NOT focused at all. How do I get back to where I need to be - meal prepping, working out, and seeing the weight come off???  I just feel tired. Tired of the meal prep. Tired of the working out. Tired of having this on my brain ALL THE TIME. BUUUUUUT I do have goals that I want to accomplish. I want to be a competitive body builder, but then I have to wonder how bad do I want this? If I'm not "on plan" or committed to working out, what am I doing? Why am I paying for a coach? Why am I investing in competition "stuff" if I'm not taking this seriously and doing what I'm needing to do to get to stage? I need AND WANT to get it back together and have to realize that not every day is going t be.good day or one where I want to "eat on plan" or even go workout. But if I want to compete and get this weight off for good, I have to keep reminding myself that this is a lifestyle change, not just a "one time deal".  

Almost August...

This month has been a busy one! I sold my house in KY - FINALLY!! What a stressful nightmare that had been! Just so glad that is over with! Now, on to BIGGER and BETTER chapter of life to come!

We moved back to WI to take care of my aging parents, have my son be with his besties to go through high school with, working PT to keep me busy, but also allows me more time to be able to be in the gym! I've got goals to crush!

Once I changed how I saw myself and what I wanted for my future, I began to have the resolve of things that are non-negotiables.  These items being: drinking all my water, eating on plan, and working out (getting some type of movement in). 

Here are the results of ONE WEEK:  -5.4 lbs and 4"!!!  The last pics below is from Jan1 and then today...

Is it really the middle of June????

 MAN!!! TIME IS FLYING BY!!!  

Here it is the middle of June and I can't believe that I haven't posted for a couple of months!

UPDATE on weight loss journey:

1. I went with a new Coach - Built to be Different - Kayla Kirajyan and Chandler Vec (shortened last name) and am really liking how they are challenging me and working with me and my mindset. That and consistency have been my BIGGEST challenges on this journey!

2. LOTS has been happening where I've been a little derailed here for several weeks. From putting my house on the market, moving to another state, helping my Mama w/ my Daddy (advanced stages of Alzheimer's and her own health), getting my son registered and ready for high school in the fall w/ football and classes, starting a new job, needing to close on the house in KY...need I say more????

3. Weight has been going up due to me not being consistent - with meal prepping, working out, water intake, sleep.... back to the grind as I am NOT happy with not only the numbers, but how I look and feel in my skin at the moment. 

My son and I actually had a great and challenging conversation just this morning as I picked him up from weight lifting/conditioning for football. He's 14 yrs old and was speaking nothing but the truth and it was hard to hear to be honest. He was challenging me about drinking my Starbucks Chai Tea's and how much I HAVE TO CUT THEM OUT - they are equal to 3 candy bars!! He stated that he was getting tired of reminding me or encouraging me to get my green tea, but I get that AND the chai tea. He also stated that he was getting ready to "just give up on me" and that he was just wondering why it seems like I was being lazy. He questioned me, "How bad do you really want this Mama? How bad to you want to compete? How bad do you really feel in order to do what you need to do"? Talk about a SLAP IN THE FACE!!! But it's something that I really needed to hear and come to terms with. I'm so very THANKFUL for my son and his brutal honesty. I know God gave him to me for many reasons.

Here are pics from January 1, 2024 to June 1, 2024:

There have been changes since the beginning of the year, but over the last couple of weeks, it's gone up. NO MORE!!!  Back on track!

More entries to come to be more consistent with my posting and keeping on track with the journey.

Spring is either here.... OR just pretending to be

 Hello Bee Hive family!

It's been a little crazy over here at the Bee Hive! So many things have been happening and going through some tough stuff, but also some exciting news as well!

First, the EXCITING news! Even though I have been living in KY for 2 1/2 years, and really loving the area, I'm moving my little pea pod family (my 14 yr old son and I) back to WI to help my Mama with my Daddy. He has Alzheimer's and is fading more and more and she needs help. That's not the exciting part. The exciting part of that is that we will be reunited with family. My younger brother lives across the driveway, but Mama needs more help.

I will be putting my house on the market beginning of April and PRAYING that we can get top dollar for it as we make the move back up north. We hope to be back up there 1st of June. So, we've been busy packing boxes, sorting, selling, de-cluttering things to be able to present our best for the buyers. It's stressful being a single Mama, working FT, and different appointments, son's girlfriend's volleyball games he NEEEEEDS to attend (LOL), all the while keeping the house going. WHEW!

Now for the tough stuff.  For the past week or so, I've been feeling very depressed, sad, and unmotivated to do ANYTHING! I think that's why I haven't gotten as far along in my packing as I've wanted to be by this time. Feelings of: "If I weren't so fat, I would have a man", "I can never lose this weight and by happy", "Why can't I be consistent with my journey?", "Why am I not finding any joy in anything?" all come into play. The loneliness that I feel is very real and strong, as an almost 54 year old woman who has never been married may be feeling. Yes, I have my son, but I really only have him 4 more years before he goes off and lives his life to the fullest. Then what? I don't want to be 60 and still in this same state that I'm in. 

I had an encounter with God today. The stress of the move, getting a place to live up in WI, to a job that I can transfer with, financially making it til I sell the house, guiding my son still, worried about Mama/Daddy, all the things... He says, "Be still. I have you. Just RELAX and TRUST ME. Your plans and what you think is best for you in your situation, may not be My plans for you. YOU are NOT in control and you need to give up that control to Me". Now, it's just taking one day at a time. One meal at a time. Getting up to workout/stretch/get movement in. Drinking my water. GETTING SLEEP! Setting new routines and being consistent with them. Get my fire 🔥🔥🔥 back for working out and feeling good. I fight depression a lot, and. yes, I'm on medicine - just seems like there is always a lot on my plate at one time. But... GOD HAS IT. I TRUST IN HIM. HE WILL GUIDE ME.

I'm learning to love the body that I'm currently in as God and I change it daily and enjoying the process.

Keep going Bee Hive... Keep going.

FEBRUARY 2024

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 

Yes, it is February - but I see that I haven't posted in a few months! It has been crazy! That's still no excuse, but life happens, right?

Well, let me catch you up on my health journey and what has been happening with me.

December: I went home to the parents for Christmas. My Dad has 3rd stage Alzheimer's - which is pretty much closer to the end of what we know of Dad. Mama was in the hospital for 11 days (before I got there) with a blood infection. She was home and facing physical challenges while trying to care for Dad. As I was there for 11 days, I saw my parents in a new light. They were now needing my assistance more than ever. Mama still can get around, drive, and mentally "with it", but just physically wearing down. So, in order to "cope" with all of this, I was EMOTIONALLY EATING AT IT'S FINEST! 

I came back and was getting ready for New Year's, going back to work, all the things that people do after the holidays. 

January: So, when Jan. came around, I didn't do my typical resolutions of I'm gonna lose weight, get healthy, workout every day, etc. etc.  I actually just wrote down goals I wanted to accomplish this year - not just physical health wise. Sure, to lose weight, but there was NO TIMEFRAME of how much I was gonna lose this year. There was working on my relationship with God, my son, and myself. To work on the physical aspect of it, I was asked to join a challenge with BUILT DIFFERENT and they are an amazing group of ladies that help with not only the regular challenge stuff, but the mental and creating life changing habits. The mental part of things: creating habits over time and then it will be sustainable. I LOVE their energy. Another great coach is: KRAY FITNESS (www.krayfitness101.com). If you decide to go with KRAY (Kaitlyn Raymond), tell her Traycee Bee sent ya! :D

So, January 1, I weighed and measured myself. WOWZERS!!! I gained A LOT of weight back that I had lost. I knew I had, just by the tightness in my skin, fullness in my face, more tired, joints and back hurting more. So, here is the numbers:

Starting weight (1/1/2024): 280.6.   Body Fat (BF) %: 42.1.  Body Mass Index (BMI): 40.2

Jan. 29, 2024:  Weight: 270.6.  BF%: 41.2.  BMI: 38.8

And this is all in just ONE MONTH! I know that I'm going to KILL IT in February, as I'm stepping up my workout and nutrition plans. I can't wait to see what I do in FEB!!!

Blue bra: 1/1/24

White bra: 1/29/24