June 2023

 SOOOO much has happened within the last few weeks that I need to write it all down!

I have really dealt with a COMPLETE mindset shift within the past couple of weeks! I was struggling with how I was feeling about myself and how my weight loss journey was going. I get so discouraged and disgusted with myself when I don't see the scale move down. Instead, it was GOING UP!!!  How frustrating is that?!?!?!?!  But then I had to sit with myself to really see what I was doing to cause this.

I had to be honest with myself and know that I was NOT eating on my food plan or even working out consistently. My main issue is... CONSISTENCY!  This is what I had to realize and come to terms with.

I then listened to a pod cast called "Know Your Power" by Julia Rene (an IFBB Wellness Pro) and it really rang true for me and really hit me hard.  There were 6 things that she was saying in order to be successful in weight loss journey and bodybuilding. They were:

1. What is your WHY? WHY am I on this journey and keep me going when I don't FEEL like it or want to continue. 

2. What is my current relationship with FOOD? Fix bad habits RIGHT NOW!

3. How is my relationship with myself and my BODY currently?

4. Do you have a good support system?

5. Are you ready to be isolated or secluded? (This pertains more to being in prep for bodybuilding).

6. Do I BELIEVE in myself? Believe that I CAN DO THIS?

When I sat with myself and really marinated on these questions, it was very eye opening for me.  With questions 2 & 3... what is my relationship with food? I have to say that I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER. I turn to it when bored, sad, angry, depressed, happy, etc. For what is my relationship with myself... WHOA!! I had to look at myself in the mirror and realize that I LOATHE my body. I HATE the way I feel in my own skin.  No one should feel that way about themselves. If my bestie said that about herself, what would I be telling her? I would be telling her to STOP talking to herself that way and bring out ALL the positive! Why do I not talk to myself that way? Combat the negative thoughts and self-talk? Why am I getting in my own way? Self-sabotage. 

So, I'm working on telling myself 3 positive affirmations to myself in the mirror daily. I can start seeing small changes - I know that this will be taking some time and slowly, but surely will be how I see myself  on a consistent basis. 

What are your answers to the questions? Really sit and be honest with yourself...

Feburary 1, 2023!!!

Is it me or is the year already flying by?!?!

I CANNOT believe it's Feb. 1st already and I didn't even blog in January! Oh my goodness! I'm slacking in a big way!

Well, so much has happened since I last blogged... 

*I left the VA Medical Center 12/2/2022 and started a job at Danville Independent Schools - same schedule as my son, so both of us a MUCH HAPPIER! No more commuting/long drive hours, wear and tear on the car AND me, able to be Mama to my boy, and doing what I actually love - helping students learn and be successful!

*I already received a "promotion" at work - I started off in the cafeteria in Dec and at the end of January, was moved into the classroom as an Instructional Aide! 

*The District Superindendent asked if I would be interested in the Equity Coordinator/Officer position that is going to be opening up in May/June time frame. I would FINALLY be able to get off of SSDI, possibly buy a house, get out of debt, and breathe financially! What a great opportunity! I'll keep you posted on that position.

*I started with a new coach! In my first week with her, I've lost 6.4 lbs and 2 1/2"! Now I realize that a lot of that weight and inches are water, but it's off my body! My mindset is focused, I've been consistent with my workouts, staying on my plan, and I feel so much more happier! I feel at peace and not under so much pressure. I'm back to enjoying the process and can really see me doing my first body building show w/in a couple of years vs 4-5 yrs from now. HOW EXCITING IS THAT???!!! I just need to stay focused and get after it, each and every workout and meal.  I read that a gal started her journey and for 2-3 years was disciplined and focused that she went from her very 1st show to PRO CARD in 17 DAYS!!!! That's what I want to do! I'm sure that it won't be that quickly, but I want to set goals for myself to possibly meet or beat that! 

*I am finally feeling more like myself than I have in a VERY long time! It feels good to get back to being my true self - not in a major funk/depression.

WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!!! Leave a comment below to let me know you were here! I'd love to hear from you and see how I can encourage you on whatever journey you are on! :)

Tis' the Season....

 And yet another month has passed by - Feels like so much happens, that I don't have the time or energy to keep y'all posted! SHOOO WHEEEE!!!

I have changed jobs!!! No more commuting over an hour each way to work, hours on end of missing time with my son, having to get up at 3AM to workout or attempt to, and the list goes on and on....

I now GET to get up at 6:30AM, spend a lot more time with "the boy", only work 4 hrs a day at the local school district, and be able to be on break when my son is! WHAT FREEDOM!! 

Now I will have more time to devout to improving myself, encouraging others on their journey, just being more CONSISTENT with my own journey - what an EXCITING time this is...

Here's to a GREAT year - starting today - NOT the 1st of the year... you can start your journey today!

Is it really OCTOBER????

 Is it REALLY OCTOBER 2022 already???!!!!

HOLY MOLY CANOLI!!!! I haven't written since Aug? THIS is NOT ok.  There is so much that needs to be said and written down and get out. 

This journey of health is such a MENTAL game it's not even funny! I've been in a really dark place mentally for a little while. I don't know why or where it has come from, but I know that I need to come up out of the darkness. I just know I have to stay regular on my meds, get my mindset right, back on plan, and workout consistently.

I need to get back the mindset AND belief that I can do this - no matter what! And it's not even about competing...  When I started this journey, it was just about getting healthy and losing weight. I need to take the pressure off myself of THE STAGE and just get back to wanting to be healthy and live longer. Back to the basics I go and not get so far ahead of myself or get caught up in the other athletes that I follow, I lose sight of what I'm doing for myself. I am finding myself being jealous or envious or wishful thinking - I don't know what to call it - but I have to stop and focus on what I am doing for myself. 

The Basics that I need to keep in mind:

1. Be Positive

2. Be Consistent - on eating plan - NO CHEATS - workouts

3. Be Mindful - writing goals, thoughts, struggles, triumphs

4. Get PLENTY of REST - go to bed no later than 8:30pm

5. Drink ALL my water - 1+ gallons

6. Spend plenty of time with Jesus