UPDATE on "Lil' Bean"

Well, I'm in the 15th week of pregnancy and had to buy maternity clothes today. My belly is starting to take form and it's weird and exciting all at the same time! I have had several ultrasounds and it's just amazing from the first time I saw him looking like a Lil Bean to now just legs are a kickin' and arms movin'.... WOW!!! My next ultrasound is Oct. 8th and from what the ultrasound tech said almost 3 weeks ago, it LOOKS like a boy - but will be hopefully confirmed next week... I sit here just AMAZED!!! Lincoln Dupri (as of right now) is on his way and I'm truly excited about it... I know that it's going to be a long hard road, but I know that Jesus is with me... as I ask for guidance daily, HIS wisdom, and to be with this precious lil' one...

Housing is coming together and now, it's just a job. Unemployment will only go so far and I am praying that the job that God has for me will come soon... but only in HIS time will it be right....

Here's to being quiet, patient, and waiting upon Him to lead....

Life presents challenges and surprises....

Well...
I sit here a day after my 39th birthday and I do feel older.... Not because of the number on my body years, but the experiences that I have faced and gone through in my life. 2 weeks ago, I was given the experience that would change my life FOREVER! I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant from my little excursion in Hilton Head Island, SC over the 4th. The father wants nothing to do with the baby, so here I go at it alone. Feels like the 1st time all over again, but in a different way. Yes, I feel abandoned by the baby daddy, but I don't feel abandoned by my HEAVENLY FATHER - who is WAYYYYY more competent and trustworthy than any human here on earth. I thank Him for this blessing amongst my sin - the consequence of my blatent sinning against God, but is turning out to be used by God as a blessing and learning tool for my spiritual growth. AMAZING...

1st Dr appt is tomorrow and I hope to get an ultrasound to see Lil' Bean...lol...

What life brings....

Coming off the high...

So here I am 3 weeks post-baptism and I can defineatley say that I'm off the baptism "high"...
Satan is alive and well people... he knows the buttons to push and try to cause you to stumble and fall....as he did for me this past weekend... but you know, the GREAT thing of it is, is that Jesus supplies GRACE and MERCY to us all! I am under HIS GRACE! Yes, I am going to stumble and fall, but HE loves me anyways...HE accepts me and shows me what HE wants me to do... just amazing to me how God works...

Still looking for work... didn't get a job that I really wanted.. interviewed for, background check, the whole 9, but not hired... but still have some other possibilites in the works... only God knows what is best for me and I have to trust Him with that...

Keep ya'all posted...

The faithfulness of God

What can I say about the faithfulness and goodness of God?

• He has provided more opportunities for me to see how I can trust HIM with everything in my life - finances, men, living situation, past hurts, schooling, and other heart issues...
• He is showing me areas that I didn't realize that I needed to hand over to Him for Him to take complete control over...
• The joy that comes from knowing Him and being in HIS love, my heartbeat is HIS heartbeat...

Doesn't everyone want that?

Interesting....

*How much I feel like I belong in Africa, more and more each day

*How much I want to be working where God wants me to work

*How much I really want to be with this man from Ghana and wonder if it's really ever gonna happen???

*How my mom keeps getting sick/hurt/in pain and I can't be there to comfort her

*How I'm going to be an auntie for the 6th time!!!!

*How I have so many dreams and wonder if any of them are going to be coming true in my lifetime

Chaylie Morgan....

Well, today would have been Chaylie's 6th birthday already! An almost 1st grader!! WOW how time flies...

At times, I am glad she is not here to experience or see Mommy strugglin'... but of course my heart aches for her so deeply on some days, that it is beyond me. It's weird... there will be days that I don't think about her or miss her... yet, there are other days where she is constantly on my mind. Today, is one of those kind of days. I haven't cried or boo-hoo'd, just quiet. Reflective.

Mommy loves you Chaylie...and I miss you with ALL of my heart, soul, mind, and being... see you in Heaven...

Feeling the Blahs....of Life

Well, here I sit on May 15th... a Friday night... and what am I doing? Laundry and writing yet another paper... UUUGGGGHHHHH!!! I will be SOOOOOO glad when these programs, especially this class that I'm in right now is over and done with!!! I'm in Strategies for Competitive Advantage... WHAT THE ?&(#O(!!!! Talk about SNOOOOZVILLE!!! I had to go to my local school district office to gather some stats to write this paper and incorporate the info with a scenario that the prof wrote... AGAIN... WHAT THE &#*^!!!!

Ok... on to more pleasant things... I'll be walking in commencement July 11th and my parents surprised me by telling me they are flying out for the graduation ceremony!!! My younger brother and THE GANG are coming too!!! I'm soooo excited to have my whole family (minus the big brother) there and see where I live, friends and meet my adopted KY family that I have here... SO C'MOOOOOON JUUUUULY!!!! That's the thing that is keeping me going....

OH! I started a woman's Bible Study group on Monday nights and it's called a LifeGroup. I just started this past Monday, but I can tell that I'm really going to love this group. We share with one another, dig deeper from what the pastor was preaching about on Sunday, and build great friendships.... so I'm really looking forward to that...

I am taking several classes at the gym I belong to and am training for a 5k run at the end of September... it's doable and I'm looking forward to it. I will then move up to run a mini-marathon, then a full one... I'd like to complete the mini-marathon by my 40th birthday, which is Aug of next year, so this is a very doable goal for me....

Let's see...dating a man from Ghana! He is wonderful (so far, but I'm still holding my breath on this and enjoying the time that we share)... taking one day at a time to see what is revealed through time.... I'll keep you posted on this one - Shadrach Kotey is his name.

Fighting the blah's because I'm not working and tired of Carmen talking about the twins all the time. It's hard as Chaylie's birthday is Sunday - she would've been 6 years old already... can you believe it??? WOW... Kindergarten/1st grade already...how time flies.... Mother's Day is always hard and the following week is her birthday, so I get hit emotionally for 2 weeks in a row EVERY year... I just hope and pray that it will get easier as time passes... I pray....

Well, back to the paper I go... BLAH....