It has been a few days since I've last written. It's been a crazy time with my brother from WI flying in, my parents 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY this Saturday, and dealing with motivation to stay on track.
I've been doing some thinking about why it is so hard for me to either follow through or stay motivated. I belong to SEVERAL fitness and clean eating groups on Facebook and Instagram, but for some reason when it gets "hard" or I hit a "roadblock" I give up.
After doing some reflection, I have found that I do not believe in myself or feel/think that I am worth it. I go to the ends of the earth for my friends and my family - I believe in them - their biggest cheerleader. They are worth spending time with and worth time and attention. Then why is it so hard to believe that I'm worth it? Why is it hard to believe in myself? Is it due to YEARS of people treating me that I'm not worth their time, or efforts? After experiencing this time and time again, one would start believing it.
I KNOW this to be true for me. No matter how hard I try to push through, when it comes down to it, I give up on myself. It is HARD for me to stay motivated and to "grind" when it gets hard or requiring discipline. WHY? BELIEF and WORTH.
So today is the first day of changing the negative tapes in my head saying that I'm not worth it. THIS WILL NOT be an easy road AT ALL! But I will get there... one day and one positive thought and belief at a time.
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